So, I’d been thinking about having boudoir photos taken for a while.
Not for hubby or anything like that – just for me. But I kept chickening out, kept finding an excuse or two – I need to get more toned at the gym first, I don’t have the right stuff to wear for it, and the biggest, I don’t have a photographer I’m comfortable with.
Don’t get me wrong – I know oodles and oodles of photographers but none felt quite right. You see I’m what’s called an extroverted introvert – I loathe social situations and being in the spotlight but when I get there and into it I’m okay – I don’t love it – but I do okay. I loathe having my photo taken even more – I’m the Behind the Scenes Girl – I work from home in my slippers – I’ve had proper photos taken (apart from school photos) probably three times in my life.
The idea of stripping down and having photos taken – oh no – too scary. But here’s the thing, the idea kept coming back to me.
Over and over during the last couple of years…
And then, online, amongst a group of business women, I met Michelle. Now I knew she was an amazing maternity and birth photographer of course, but I had no idea she took boudoir photos until in one little comment, everything changed.
She mentioned her boudoir photography – it was like a light bulb went on – here was a photographer I could do this with and be ‘relatively’ comfortable. Crazy right? I had never actually met her. We chatted, we shared inspo pics, I freaked out, and freaked out, and then, on the day, freaked out some more.
Now strangely, the second we met I was pretty much at ease – we chatted, we drank bubbles, we laughed – lots – and the next thing I knew, I was standing against a wall, chatting, with my tits out to someone I’d only ‘met’ an hour beforehand. Michelle is a beautiful soul, a calming influence, a talented and inobtrusive photographer and a respectful artist. And, the only photographer I would gladly strip down for lol.
Honestly, after the shoot I really didn’t need to see the photos.
Having done the actual shoot and stepping outside my comfort zone in a major way was enough for me (that and seeing the one, f&%king hot snap she took on my phone for me). But then they turned up and O M G they are amazing – they are not over-edited to barely resemble the real me – they are me!
I see all the bits that make up me – the freckles a favourite uncle promised would one day merge into a beautiful tan (still waiting for this one), the tattoo I got as a 21st present to myself, the scar I got about 2 weeks after meeting my now husband, the scar where my daughter entered this world.
So why did I want to do this in the first place, if the idea freaked me out so much?
Because at 41 years old I finally love my body – scars, tattoo, stretch marks, cellulite, freckles, crinkles (my daughter’s version of wrinkles) and all. It serves me very well, it gave us our daughter, it gives me pleasure, it gets me through each and every day without much trouble at all and deserves to be recognised, even if just to myself. I’m so pleased that I did this boudoir photo shoot – it’s a fantastic memento of this time in my life when I am coming into my own. And perhaps Michelle with reshoot for me, years from now when, hopefully, we are both gray, pillowy and very very crinkled with all those laugh lines.
Thanks Michelle, for making this entire process much less scary and even fun. Something I honestly didn’t think I would ever feel about boudoir – you are awesome!
If you have ever considered boudoir photography – be it as a gift for a partner – or just to have for yourself – get in touch with Michelle – you will not regret it. So what are you waiting for? To lose another 5 kgs, to have your hair grown out a little longer – rubbish – just do it now!
– Connie Baker; Content & Social Media Manager at Integrated Copy